How to Cope With Unemployment

The loss of a job can be a very traumatic experience for most people. It can have a negative impact on your physical, mental and emotional health. It brings financial insecurity, wears away your sense of identity and can lead to a breakdown in family relationships.

It is important to remember that you must take care of yourself after you lose your employment. Here are some ways that you can cope with the loss and get yourself prepared for the future.

Acknowledge Your Grief

The initial response to losing your job may be to go directly out and start hunting for a new one. This is not always the best plan, however. If it will not create a great financial strain, take the time to mourn the loss of the job and focus on reducing your stress. Reevaluate your priorities for the future. You might feel pressure to form a plan for the rest of your life but it is important to take time to step back and sift through your emotions first.

Go Through the Stages

Losing a job can trigger similar emotional stages to those associated with divorce and death. Those are shock, denial, sadness, guilt, anger and acceptance. You can experience some or all of these emotional stages, and not necessarily in order. You need to take the time to work through each stage.

Let Go of Anger and Resentment

Keeping hold of anger and resentment will eat away at your happiness and stop you from moving forward. Just because you allow yourself to let go of the anger doesn’t mean you are disregarding what happened. It is allowing you to regain your control. Staying in a negative mindset will sap your energy and creativity and stop you from concentrating on your future.

Create a Realistic Budget

During times of strained financial resources, it is important to trim the excess from your budget. Assess your actual income and expenses. Decide where you can cut corners and consider getting a part-time position to help cover your necessary bills (rent, utilities, insurance, etc.).

Get Into a Routine

Set up a daily routine that you can stick to and make sure you are taking care of yourself. Get some exercise each day, get enough sleep and eat a balanced diet. Find ways to keep your mind stimulated, like reading and socializing. Avoid drinking and gambling to excess. Reward yourself for the progress you make. Get up and get dressed each day to stay motivated.

Don’t Isolate Yourself

It is common for people who lose their jobs to shut themselves away from others, but this can keep you from moving forward. Get out of the house. Visit friends and family. Join groups of people with similar interests. Reach out to others for support.

Spend Time Volunteering

Volunteering is a great way to get out into the community and help others. You will be able to network, gain new skills and stay active.

Increase Your Skills

This could be an ideal time to build on the skills you have and even branch out to learn new skills. Maybe you can look into another career field that you had not considered before. Research subjects online or sign up for local seminars. If you can afford the cost, sign up for classes at the local college.

Find Free Activities

Almost every town has activities that you and your family can enjoy for no cost. Look for free museum days, public events and lectures. Go to public parks or the library. Becoming more involved in your town is a great way to build connections and stay motivated.

This phase is not going to last forever. It is important to stay motivated while you are coping with the loss of your job. Keeping a positive attitude will help you to focus on your future and work to overcome obstacles in life.

Are you coping with the loss of your job? What steps are you taking to stay motivated? What advice would you give to someone else in your position?

Are you in an abusive relationship? Read this crucial checklist and help prevent violence against women!

With all the commotion about Rihanna and Chris Brown, it made me stop and think about all the people that could be in that exact situation. Take it from someone who has “been there and done that” and only wished I had this sort of checklist many years ago. If this helps just one person by opening their eyes and/or alerting them to be safe and look out for number one and to recognize some of the signs and warnings, then one of my missions has been accomplished!


Red Flag Behaviors

Do You: 

Apologize all the time?

Willingly accept the blame for everything that goes wrong in your relationship?

Walk on As far as situational awareness, don’t be afraid to be a bitch and tell a man NO.  Who cares what a perfect stranger thinks of you, your safety is more important. Also, never leave or allow yourself to be abducted, even at gun point… it is very hard to get shot with a pistol, especially if you can knock it away just a quarter of an inch.  And if you do get shot, at least you can get help…if you leave; well that scene is usually where they find the body.

Do you walk on egg shells, watching every word you say?

Rehearse what you will say to your partner to avoid triggering a reaction?

Cry more than you used to?

Repress your feelings, especially your anger?

Constantly try to figure out how to get your partners approval?

Give up interest, activities, and people that were once important to you?

Hold yourself back in your educational or vocational advancement?

Constantly excuse your partner’s behavior to yourself or others?


Does Your Partner: 

Act jealous or possessive toward you?

Isolate you from your family or friends?

Check up on you?

Display a quick temper or extreme mood swings?

Become hypersensitive to criticism or perceived criticism?

Blame others?

Refuse to discuss, negotiate, and compromise?

Believe in stereotyped sex roles?

Always have to be in control?

Manipulate you?

Have unrealistic expectations of you or the relationship?

Get too serious too fast?

Refuse to accept breaking up?

Abuse drugs, alcohol, or other mood-altering substances?

Pressure you to use/abuse alcohol or drugs?

Show little respect for the opposite sex?

Pressure you for sex?

Mistreat animals or children?

Have a history of bad relationships?

Scare or threaten you or others?

Have a history of fighting?

Own or use weapons or display them to back up threats?

Break or strike objects?

Become violent with you or others?


The statistics show that if you answered yes to 4 in any combination of these questions, then you partner WILL hit you. And even more terrifying; if you have been hit or beat 4 or 5 times by your partner in the past, he WILL kill you. Typically your friends and family will ask, “Why do women stay in those relationships?” when we should be asking, “Why is he hitting her?”


Check out this interesting fact! One reason Michael Vick is in jail, besides the obvious dog fighting charges, was mainly due to people protesting, marching, writing letters and emails and making a stand on what they believe in, to the designated authorities and voicing their opinions regarding this situation.  I ask, “Since when did women’s lives sit below dogs on the worth scale?”


In the past they have told us to scream “fire” instead of help when we are being attacked?  Well, now they say to scream, “he’s a stranger, I don’t know him!” and you MIGHT get better luck with being helped.  The attitude is now, “not my car on fire, just some woman getting her ass beat.” How tragic and due to this you have to do something out of the ordinary to catch someone’s attention!


I could go on about the cases that have been investigated and true stories of men CONVICTED of killing unborn babies, who are now walking the streets. That crime holds a Life or Death sentence, why the HELL is he walking the streets? Is it because no one protested?


As far as situational awareness, don’t be afraid to be a bitch and tell a man NO.  Who cares what a perfect stranger thinks of you, your safety is more important. Also, never leave or allow yourself to be abducted, even at gun point… it is very hard to get shot with a pistol, especially if you can knock it away just a quarter of an inch.  And if you do get shot, at least you can get help…if you leave with the attacker, well very sadly that scene is usually where they find the body.  My hope and wish for you is to research your options on getting out safe and alive!


Are you a woman in trouble and in need of help? What are some of the behaviors by your significant other that are puzzling you, concerning you, and keeping you up at night? Please feel free to share as we will keep all responses confidential if you so choose to. Due to me being in a situation exactly like this in the past, I may be able to assist you in some way. If you just need to get things off your chest and talk about it, please, please, reach out to me by using our “contact us” page or email me at This is a secure and confidential way to contact us and you can choose to remain anonymous.

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For all the “Mean Moms”- the highest compliment!

This was sent to me from a very dear friend and virtual assistant colleague.  I felt it was worth sharing and passing along.  I guess I would be considered a “mean mom” and proud of it!  My two adult children have grown into very respectful, honest, hard-working, appreciative, God loving, funny, caring and sweet individuals for which I am very proud of!  Read on…


Someday when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a parent, I will tell them, as my Mean Mom told me:

I loved you enough to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would be home.

I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep.

I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.

I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, and tears in my eyes. Children must learn that their parents aren’t perfect.

I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.

But most of all, I loved you enough to say NO when I knew you would hate me for it.

Those were the most difficult battles of all. I’m glad I won them, because in the end you won, too. And someday when your children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates parents, you will tell them…

You are in big trouble!
You are in big trouble!

Was your Mom mean? I know mine was.

We had the meanest mother in the whole world!

While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast.

When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches.

And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different from what other kids had, too.

Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times.

You’d think we were convicts in a prison.

She had to know who our friends were and what we were doing with them.

She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.

We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work.

We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, and empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs.

I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do.

She always insisted on us telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

By the time we were teenagers; she could read our minds and had eyes in the back of her head.

Then, life was really tough!

Mother wouldn’t let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up, they had to come up to the door so she could meet them.

While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16.

Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced.

None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other’s property or ever arrested for any crime.

It was all her fault.

Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults.

We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was.

I think that is what’s wrong with the world today.

It just doesn’t have enough mean moms!


Please tell us, are you a “mean mom” too?  We have to support one another!  Please respond by adding your comment to this post or use the contact us page!  We look forward to hearing from you!


Deb Lamb

Virtual Assistant Services












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